By Mary Beth Wighton
If you
believe 2012 doomsday theorists, the earth as we know it will end in 4 days on
December 21, 2012. Whether it is from
the end of the Mayan calendar or some incredible planetary collision, life on
earth will end. Television movies
depicting the end play over and over again.
The news captures religious fanatics holding their signs high to
“repent.” It has made me pause and
wonder.
I do not
believe in 2012 doomsday. I believe God
has his own agenda.
It is in
such stark comparison I contemplate my own inevitable death. Upon my diagnosis of FTD, I immediately went
to my computer and began to research this foreign word. As I read through the text of symptoms I
eventually hit the words “Inevitably FTD will culminate in profound disability
and death.”
The
average life expectancy is anywhere from 2-10 years with the mean of 8. I reread this line of text numerous
times. Three months since my diagnosis,
these words continues to sink in.
I've known
for years, there was something seriously wrong with me. I just didn't know what it was. Finally, I had a diagnosis to this terrible
thing. My emotions have ranged from
disbelief to anger to sadness.
The one
thing that has remained constant from the start is my desire to live life to
its fullest and with dignity. At the
bottom of my calendar page, I have written the well-known line, “Live each day
as if it's your last.” But, what does
that really mean?
Words are
just that – words. It is how we live
those words that really matters. Each
day, I wake up and count my blessings and thank God. I try to be more gentle with my words; tell
my loved ones I love them; help out as much as I can; and not hesitate to take
up people's invitations to an adventure.
I ask myself, am I correctly prioritizing things I have to
complete? I have begun to reach out to
some dear old friends who I have lost contact with. I have told special people in my life that
they are special and my life is richer because they are in it. I do not take these relationships for
granted. Laughter has become more
important to me and I look to find and share things that will earn a
smile. I continue to work hard to ensure
that my family is left in the best circumstances it can be. I reach out to organizations that can help me
move through challenges. And ultimately,
each day, I try to give as much as I can to help in the fight against dementia.
I ponder
about what my purpose of life is. Is
helping in this fight it? Regardless, I
will continue to live each and every day the best I can. I have accepted my diagnosis. It is the helping of others to aid in their
acceptance of my diagnosis that is paramount.
My great
niece, Teighan, recently presented me with a beautiful painting she had done
herself. On it, she painted the words,
“Carpe Diem.” I have hung her painting
up near the entrance of our home. As
each and every person enters, I wish for them
to join me in: seizing the day
and place no trust in tomorrow.
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